Alone

So I needed a night alone. And I took it. Tons of stuff is on my mind right now. I am realizing that there are some deep hurts that I just suppressed. Friends that hurt me (whether they did it knowingly or not). Friends that have disappointed me. Promises not kept. Desires unfulfilled. Hopes that are not met. And I know that I should probably say something to them...but how? How would I even begin to bring that up? Oh hey, ps, remember that one time that you hurt me? Yeah. I wonder if they even know. I wonder if they feel the distance.

I guess that I am just feeling completely alone even though I may be surrounded by people. Not a super fun feeling.

I took a long hot shower and that helped so much. But then my brain started going 8,000 miles a minute again.

I need Jesus so much right now. I need to feel his love and peace. Everything (and everyone) else will fail me. He won't. I need him to slow my brain down. I need to trust and just rest. And I need to learn how to do that. I am not so great at resting...